Most people have different masks to protect themselves or for some purposes that I was told is really true. Gradually, I have different masks now, and it will change silently without my command. I don't really like this fake world but need to learn how to survive. Under this kind of "edge" situation, to protect myself or to get better status, I can only show all kinds of masks in front of my lover or family, however, even with my family, I still have some "no-need-to-worry-me mask". So that, it is quite important to my lover to understand me, care of me, listen to me, communicate with me and etc. It is not easy for anyone to do those; when growing up, people will become more and more selfish, and no one will give their love anymore, and maybe I should say if the weight of "like" is not enough in one of the couples, and it is hard to sustain the relationship. I am not saying "Equal", just have some comments that if you fall in love with someone and you will change yourself all the time which you never know or observe it. If you don't really like they guy/girl, everything you've done to her is meaningless or just shit (excuse me). That might be some reason that I can't get loved, I am too easy to trust people with 28 age..

I am not strong at all, but no one knows. I know I can only cry at my own corner where no one will see or even give me some words. Sounds Sad? Fine. there is always More bad thing happening, I always say to myself. And I am always fine with "strong" and "firm" tone,(normally with some tears) which means I am really sad. disgusting, isn't it? I feel fine now. it is nice to write something down which I can do record easily and as well as memorize it.
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